While I can see how easy it would be to confuse my request, when I said that I need calm, cupcakes, water, fire, food and time – I didn’t mean that I needed an aching cotton filled head, debilitating congestion, glassy bulging eyes, the loss of the ability to taste, smell, or swallow, and insomnia.
I had visions of raw food, yoga, meditation and the chime of Tibetan bowls, not an apartment littered with balls of used Kleenex, intermittent hot flashes and chills, and a neti-pot pouring a continual river of saline solution through my nostrils.
I’m not complaining. I’m just saying…
Some wires may have gotten crossed in my attempts at manifesting serenity and excellent physical, mental, and emotional health.
Also, why can’t I tell you guys about my trip to Japan? What’s that about?
I suspect that is has something to do with my Tokyo induced post traumatic stress disorder disguised as a sinus infection ( I considered naming this post – Post Traumatic Nasal Drip but it sounded gross) and my fear that you will think that I’m an ungrateful mindless jerk if I tell you all about it.
Which I can be but honestly was not.
I love that I had this life-changing (and it was) experience and I am so incredibly thankful for having had the opportunity that I did to live out what I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would. But it wasn’t all rainbows and hijiki.
There were moments that left me feeling raw and emotionally violated like I never could have predicted.
I had every intention to live out the experience mindfully. And I did. But I what I didn’t take into account is that being mindful in some situations and surroundings can be so very overwhelming and even distressing at times.
Some of it was beautiful. Rituals and prayers, miles and miles of lotus blossoms, new friends and discoveries made, delicious foods, fascinating history, gorgeous architecture etc…
Some of it was uncomfortable but I was proud to have stayed mindful, as intended, and for having lived in the moment without fear or prejudice.
I’m in Japan. I am living what the Japanese live every day. And if they should live this, why shouldn’t I? I am every bit as vulnerable and deserving of their reality.
ME: Why are so many people wearing masks? Is the pollution really that bad here?
NANAKO: It’s just because of the radiation. It’s quite bad here. The government has been covering up the severity for some time.
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NANAKO:Would you like some tea or coffee or anything?
ME: No thank you, I’ll just grab some whater.
NANAKO: Don’t drink the tap water, the radiation.
ME: Oh… But I brushed my teeth with it.
NANAKO: That’s okay but don’t drink it. The radiation is really bad here. That’s why you should shower and do your laundry every day please.
ME: With tap water?
NANAKO: Yes of course.
ME: To wash off the radiation?
NANAKO: Yes
ME: With the radiated tap water that I can’t drink because of the radiation?
NANAKO: … yes.
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No point getting squeamish, I reminded myself, after all, if you want to go to Africa one day…
I have some little stories to share with you; some happy, some confusing, some sad and even angry.
And I will share them over the next few days.
But for now, I have tea to steep, Kleenex boxes to unwrap and pots of saline to warm up and drown myself with.
And, more importantly, I still have calm, cupcakes, water, fire, food and time to manifest.
Original article: Not All Rainbows And Hijiki